


Night Visit

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Episode: s01e14 Take This Sabbath Day, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-17
Updated: 2005-11-17
Packaged: 2019-05-30 17:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15101432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Josh shows up to Donna's apartment making an odd request.





	Night Visit

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Kismet: Night Visit**

**by:** MeganFitz 

**Character(s):** Josh and Donna  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance Comedy  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Disclaimer:** They aren't mine, I wish they were, but they aren't. Sniff Sniff  
**Summary:** Josh shows up to Donna's apartment making an odd request.  
**Author's Note:** This is an Alterative Universe story, (I've never written one before) The whole series takes place during the first and a little into the second session. Keep in mind its an AU so not everything will be perfect. 

Days and weeks passed and Donna fell into her routine. Read as many newspapers as she could get a hold of, told the reporters the useless fact of the day, teased CJ about Danny, talked to Josh for whatever reason she could think of, protected the senior staff. She did most of that by noon. There would be times when Senators and Congressmen would leave Josh's office, hating the world, the White House and the President, but by the time they left the White House their whole perception had changed. To leave the White House from the Bullpen, one had to pass by Donna Moss's desk. 

"Rough day soldier?" Donna would smile at whoever left in a huff. Democrats Republicans, it really didn't matter. The speaker of the house, Glenallen Walken, Congressmen Matt Santos, Senator Arnold Vinick, and even Congressman Bob Russell, those are just to name a few who walked past her desk and left feeling better. "Why not have something sweet to wash out the bitter taste of defeat?" She would offer a piece of candy, or a cookie and she always said, "You'll get 'em next time." 

CJ could never figure out why Donna would waste her time with these men What CJ didn't realize was that it made Donna's life easier and Josh's job doable. Not that she was doing any of this for him anyway. 

Josh Lyman had a funny way of getting under one's skin and staying there. Of course Josh had the very same impression of Donna. They watched each other without the other noticing. They supported each other when needed. They teased and mocked when necessary for their own sanity. 

One piece of information Donna had picked up in her few months was that Josh could not handle his liquor. She watched the chaos during a News Year's Eve get together at CJ's. He had the alcohol tolerance of a fifteen year old boy drinking Boon's Farm for the first time. There were three different Drunk Joshes: Beer Drunk= Horny and rude in a funny way. Scotch Drunk= mean, sometimes violent and rude in a hurtful way. Gin Drunk= Sad, honest and a perfect gentleman. 

Fortunately for Donna it was the latter that arrived at her door at 1:47 in the morning. 

"DONNA!!!" He was banging on her door and he almost fell in when she opened it. "I want to play with Baxter." 

Donna rubbed her eyes and leaned on the door for support. "What?" 

"Where's Baxter, I wanted to play with the laser pointer." 

"Are you drunk?" Obviously a dumb question, he was in her doorway in the middle of the night demanding to see her cat. 

"Yes." Honest Josh + Drunk Josh =Gin. Donna held her ground. "No you can't play with Baxter. He's sleeping." 

"I'll wake him up," he added cheerfully. 

"Josh, you have ten seconds to explain why you are here or I am closing the door and calling the cops." 

10, 9, 8, 7 ,6, 5 , "I was at a party and there was a stripper." 4, 3, 2, "Her name was Joan." 

Donna sighed and led Josh into her apartment. He sat on the couch with a huff and Baxter quickly leapt up to visit. 

"You want to talk about it?" Donna plopped next to him. 

"Not much to talk about. Naked boobs and my dead sister, I am glad I'm drunk, maybe I won't remember." He started to pet the cat and its purring was the loudest thing in the room. Josh was lost in his own thoughts of woe. She put her hand on his knee. He looked down at the cat, then her hand and then up at her face. He swallowed and confessed, "Everyone I care about ends up dead or hurt or dead. Why do I live and others die, what makes me so God damn special? Joanie, she was amazing, so much potential, why didn't I do anything? I could have called someone, I knew how to use the phone. Why?" Donna wrapped her other arm around his shoulders. He stopped only to notice how close she was to him. "I miss my sister. I miss my dad." He felt the lump in his throat growing and swelling, he tried to swallow it down before it choked him. He wanted to cry, but something made him stop. 

A tiny voice, he could barely hear it, "It isn't your fault." Words he had heard a hundred times before, but only because it came from Donna's lips did he believe them. 

He made one more confession, "I don't want to go home, it's cold." His eyes started to sting a little. 

"Yes, you can stay." Donna nodded. Secretly she didn't want to be alone either. It was her anniversary and in the past she had Kevin to help her through it, but now, tonight she would have a drunk Josh instead. 

His mood brightened but there was haste in his voice, "We have to protect the people I care about, they have a tendency to end up dead. Donnatella, no more vending machines, they're killers!" 

She had to laugh, "Ok Josh." For ten minutes he played with Baxter, watching the cat pounce and chase a tiny beam of light from his Christmas gift. Josh cheered a little when Baxter caught the light. She brought him some water. "You need to do something for me, if you want to stay." 

"Anything." 

"Take a shower and brush your teeth. You stink." She helped him take off his jacket and led him into the bathroom. 

"What's that!" He pointed to the pink bath puff. "Is it one of those pink things from Star Trek?" 

"No. It's a bath puff. You put body wash on it." 

"Is it deadly? Because if it is, you can't have it." 

"It's safe." 

"You sure?" 

"Yeah." She gave him a toothbrush and short directions: brush teeth, shower, brush teeth again, come out in boxers and undershirt, if he isn't wearing any, it will be provided for him. He assured her he was. She will hang up his suit. 

During his once hot shower, now cold one, he does sober up a little, and his mood is far better. The fact remained the same; he didn't want to leave, so he wasn't going to. 

Josh left the shower as instructed and headed into her bedroom and crawled under the sheets, but looked around her room. 

There was something missing. While the room seemed like Donna, quaint, organized, lots of art on the walls, something was off. She returned with the suit on a hanger and looked at him disapprovingly. Before she could tell him to get out of her bed, he spoke, "Hey you have the snowman picture!" 

"Yeah, you have one too, right?" 

"It's on my fridge, not on my mirror. Oh look you have the snowman too!" 

"Well, you _did_ draw one that looked just like me." 

Josh rolled his eyes, "Donna, that's a snowman, you don't look like a snowman. Don't be silly." The manchild giggled a little thinking about Donna as a snowman. "You would be so cold." 

She rolled her eyes and sat on the bed; he scooted over to make room, the very subtle hint, come join me. "Come join me, Donna." See he was being sneaky. "I am being sneaky!" 

How could she refuse? Well it was easy to refuse, but the truth was she wanted a warm body to share her bed with tonight, and Baxter the nine pound cat wasn't going to cut it. 

They lay together, next to each other, uncomfortable and lame. "Pictures!" Josh yelled. 

He rolled over on his side to face her, "You don't have any picture of people! Just snowmen in the pressroom. No people, no family." 

"I don't like my family, Josh, hence no pictures." 

"Oh." He frowned, he didn't like that answer, he didn't have much family left, but he knew he liked her. Then another thought popped into his head, "you have _other_ pictures, don't you." 

"No you can't see them." 

"Zoey got to see them." 

"So did CJ." 

"Lucky," he muttered. "Why can't I? I've gone past the point where I can take my own." 

"Why is that?" Although she really didn't want to know the answer. 

"Because there is a window of time when a man can take naughty pictures of a woman without it being creepy, and that window shut a long time for me. Like eight years ago." Josh sighed deeply thinking of all the women he never took pictures of, which was all of them. 

"Its really not that great, sometimes it can make you feel like an object, less human and cheap." Donna looked down. His eyes grew wide and confusion entered his face. 

"But you're not that! You're Donna." She smiled and rolled over to lay her head on his chest. She came close to crying. How did Josh know what to say to her without him really knowing it? Tonight she was feeling hollow and in six words he changed everything. 

He put his arm around her. He started to speak again. "There was something I wanted to tell you." She looked up at him and he gazed down at her, hoping staring at her would trigger the long forgotten memory. Her hair was stringy and falling in her face, she had the dark rings of sleepless nights under her eyes, and her alabaster skin looked slightly lighter than normal. "You're beautiful." The words came out, then the light bulb went on too, and he didn't wait for her response, "That's what I wanted to tell you! That night. You know it was a bad one, I didn't like it one bit, but I liked you. Damn what night was that? You glowed. Tad! What kind of name is Tad anyway, that night, I wanted to punch him. That night, you looked pretty but I didn't tell you because Sam told you first. Stupid, Sam." 

Donna look his words in, wishing she could believe them, but for some reason she didn't, not as much as she wanted to. Drunken men tend to lie. Even honest men. 

"Thank you, Josh. That very nice of you to say." 

Silence 

"Donna?" 

"Yes?" 

"Who's your favorite deputy?" 

She takes a minute to think. "Sam." 

"What? Why?" 

"Because he told me I looked pretty." 

"But I just told you…" He huffed and a new plan formed. "I have a secret." 

"Really?" 

"I'm Sam." 

"REALLY?" Donna played up her shock. But she couldn't help smiling. 

"That makes me your favorite deputy." 

"I guess it does. 'Sam' can you keep a secret?" 

"Yeah, I'm good at keeping secrets, 'cause I'm Sam." Donna chuckled because Sam had already proved several times he was terrible at keeping secrets. 

"But we can't tell Josh, ok." 

"OK" 

"Shhhh." 

"Shhh." 

"You are my favorite deputy, but Josh is my favorite person in the WHOLE White House." She smiled at him; his dimples seemed to grow. 

"Donna?" 

"Yeah 'Sam'." 

"Can I be Josh again?" 

"Sure." 

"Cause I have a secret too. You're MY favorite person in the White House." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah." Josh nodded. "Women like me because I am powerful. Do you?" His eyes questioned everything his mouth was saying. 

"No, I like you because you make a horrible first impression and sometimes you really are sweet." 

"It's not the power?" 

"Nope." 

Their eyes met. Everything about this moment seemed right; they fit together perfectly. He broke the gaze and rolled Donna on her side. She swallowed down her dismay and shame. "Why did you that?" He still held her, but it was as though he couldn't bear to look at her. 

"Because if I kept looking at you I would kiss you." He buried his face into her hair; it smelled like the shampoo he had just used, which made sense, he thought. 

Donna stared at the door, her face wore a mask of confusion. "Is it a bad thing to kiss me?" 

Josh nodded his head and said, "Yes, very bad." 

Donna's mouth didn't seem connected to her brain, she shouldn't want to kiss Josh; she didn't, not really, maybe just a little, but why didn't he want to kiss her? 

"We could keep it a secret." 

"No good, Sam's good at secrets not me." 

"Oh." A wave of disappointment crushed her. 

"Besides there's no way I could hide it." She thought she heard a smile in his voice. 

"Why is that?" 

"Because I would be too happy. People would notice. And there is another problem." 

"What's that?" 

"If I started kissing you I would never stop." Donna smiled at his comment and moved closer to him, her back pressed firmly to his chest. He squeezed his arm around her. 

"Would that be so terrible?" 

"No it would be wonderful, but then bad things might happen." 

"What bad things?" 

"I can't remember, but I know I have to protect you from them. Vending machines and mean people." 

Sober Josh had given this issue a lot of thought, but Drunk Josh could only remember the main idea not the detail. He sighed with disappointment. "Besides if I kissed you I would want to remember it." 

Donna turned off the light, "Oh, Josh…you would never forget it. Good night." 

"'Night." 

He fell asleep instantly. She was left awake with her tears and displeasure. She cried for a few minutes, losing something she never knew she wanted. He was inches from her and yet they would never be together. 

That night they both had nightmares. Josh relived the fire, Donna relived the frat party. They woke within seconds of each other. Donna rolled over to hold him; he wrapped his arms around her. Neither was sure if they were doing this for themselves or each other. 

"It wasn't your fault." 

"I'll protect you." 

It didn't matter who spoke which words, it only mattered that the words were spoken. 

Josh woke up with a gray furry face and green eyes staring at him. For a nine pound cat, this thing was huge. "AHHH!" Josh screamed and instantly regretted it. His head throbbed and his mouth was dry and he couldn't move his body. The cat jumped off and yellow was the first thing to come to his mind. Not yellow, he corrected himself, blond. 

"Um, Donna?" 

"There's Advil on the night stand, and some water." Her sleepy voice was almost too much for Josh to take. 

"Donna. Did anything…um?" 

"Do you normally get dressed after drunk sex?" 

"No." 

"Then do a clothing check." 

"I am in my underwear." 

"Are you naked?" 

"Nope." 

"Then what is the safe conclusion." 

"Nothing happened?" 

"Bingo." 

"Did I say anything stupid?" 

She thought for a moment, the last few hours flickering brightly in her mind. "No." 

He sighed with relief. "What day is it?" 

"Sunday. You have a meeting you have to go to at nine, so you should get moving. Take another shower and I'll get you some coffee." She rolled away from him. 

There was something he wanted to tell her, but he couldn't remember. It was important, he knew that much, but his brain was blocking it. There was a reason he went to her last night, wasn't there? 

After Josh dressed in yesterday's suit, Donna handed him a coffee. She was still dressed in last's night tank top and sweat pants. Years ago she set up a list of rules for herself to live by. She really wasn't comfortable with what she had to say, but it was a rule and rules must be stuck to, "can you do me a favor?" 

"Anything." 

"Never show up at my place drunk again." Josh stopped tying his tie and turned around to face her, eyes enlarged as panic struck his face. 

"Donna, did I do anything to offend you. If I did I am so sorry." 

She smiled at his concern, "No, I already said nothing happened. It's just a rule I have." She swallowed and randomly glanced at the snowmen picture, "I'm uneasy around drunk men." 

He remembered, like a supernova exploding in his mind, what he needed to say, and instantly his arms wrapped about her, their bodies interlocked. 

"I am so sorry. You needed me and I was a hopeless mess. Damn it, I should have been stronger." 

She thought for a second he had given her 'The Look' she hated so much, but it was a different look, I-screwed-up-and-you-needed-me look. 

She rested her head on his shoulders and whispered, softly and honestly, "No, you were wonderful, perfect even." 

He wanted more validation he had done the right thing, but instead they stood in her bedroom holding each other. The minutes ticked away and reality had to interrupt their moment. 

"You coming in today?" 

"No, I don't know, maybe, if CJ needs me." 

She walked him to the door and he kissed her on the forehead. He stood in her doorway lingering, not wanting to leave. He finally turned to face the darkness of her hall and left. No goodbyes, no thank-yous. He couldn't trust his mouth to say the right thing. He might tell her that he wanted to stay and that wouldn't be appropriate for Sober Josh. Since Drunk Josh was never allowed to show up here again, he wasn't sure if he would say the words he wanted to. 

Sober Josh remembered the reason they couldn't be together, and he cursed fate and his life. He was disappointed about losing something he thought he'd found, but could never have. 


End file.
